On the nature of Hoke, life, the universe, and everything. Upcoming Christopher Nolan movie Interstellar went to great lengths to produce the above image, the best yet of what a black hole looks like based on the mathematics of relativity—not just the lensing of space behind it but the surprising twisting of the accretion disc around it due to the warping of space where it's formed.
What's spooky about it is the thing you're seeing isn't the thing that exists. What exists is a disc around a spinning supermass, like Saturn's rings. What you're seeing however is space itself getting so warped by that mass that you can see it in 4D, bending space like a piece of paper.
Best and Worstposted a trailer for Interstellar and raved about the "our place in the dirt" quote while neglecting to mention the one in there by Dylan Thomas:
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
This is how I want Michigan to finish the season: certain of its own mortality, fighting anyway. Last year's blowout to MSU was an apocalypse, but at that moment I was profoundly mad, not embarrassed. I was embarrassed when they went out flat and uncaring against Mississippi State in the Gator Bowl. Whenever I wonder if we were right to can Rodriguez when we did, I remember that act of cowardice. Whenever I wonder if we're being too hard on Brady, I think on how he gives up without looking like giving up. Bronx had a different explanation:
This might be semantics, but I don't think Hoke is a quitter. He's (sadly) calling the game the same way in the 1st quarter as he is in the 4th quarter. He's like the worst movie version of artificial intelligence.
So he's a robot who faces adversity by going back to his safe place, i.e. the way Lloyd Carr would coach a 1st quarter. I'm not buying it. I think he closes up shop when he thinks it's hopeless, and believes we're not smart enough to notice it.
Ron Utah nevertheless argues that at least that Brady is an essentially good man. I subscribe to the DFW method of rating people: their expectations of other people tend to be the greatest insight into how they themselves think. For example the dude on the board who thinks everything is about political warfare is just a really partisan dude. Brandon's emails were relevant not because they explain how he alienated fans—if he wrote 300 of these that's still a thousandth of the 300k waiting list his policies expunged. Rather they showed us how arrogant Brandon thinks his critics are, thus how truly arrogant Brandon is.
Hoke's goodness is best exemplified, perhaps, in his weaknesses as a coach. He doesn't ever seem prepared for enemies who want to gut him, because he doesn't have that killer instinct. Perhaps he doesn't push his players hard enough—maybe that comes from not expecting other coaches to be doing so. His players seem stunned when there's a cheap shot against them—we look at that like "where's your spirit?!"" but it could just be they're not the type of dudes who expect the other team is trying to scramble their brains.
It is a mistake to see the obvious flaws in Hoke and assume we would make better head coaches. It is not a mistake to see these flaws and assume more successful head coaches would make better head coaches. Perhaps it was our own naivety to think Michigan's particular advantages could compensate for the weakness of goodness.
This football program is as doomed as matter in an accretion disc. Some of the players in it won't be here (Peppers at least said he will be the last to leave), and there's no guarantee that the next step will take us to the dark core of the black hole or shooting out into space to form a new star. Michigan looks headed to 4-8 by Massey estimates, which LSA matrixcised.
This is mathematical reality. The above is how the universe is arranged. But what separates life from every other arrangement of matter is how we approach our doom. Life doesn't just ride the mathematics arc until it spirals into nothingness. Life rages.
It probably won't change anything, but the players on this doomed team plan to rage against that probability. It almost certainly won't change anything, but most fans have chosen to march back to the Big House, and the other home field in Evanston, and even down to the darkest place in the universe, and rage against the dying of the light.
If you'd like to do so and don't have tickets, head to this thread before 3pm today and tell us about the crazy thing you've done. I'm now up to 8 tickets to give away.
[Jump for metaphysical beings—ghouls, goblins, zombies, etc.]
You can't vote on physics. One of our readers put a survey on the board' this week to see who fans blamed more between Hoke and Brandon for the terrible harvest and all the children dying and such. People with an association to the university were more likely to harbor hate for Brandon—only 3 percent thought Dave should outlast Hoke. The non-associated were startlingly different in that regard: 18% wanted Hoke fired first. None of them say why so I don't know what it means except one demographic has the students in it.
Even 80% concurrence in anything not scientifically proven is rare. In this case we've heard from people we generally trust that any top-tier coaching candidate, Harbaugh specifically, will never consent to work for Dave Brandon. So…
Is Wellman a witch? From the replies to last week's comparison of injuries across the conference came a rather scathing assessment of Michigan's S&C program, with a follow-up diary a few days later to go deeper into his explanation of his ideal training program. The gist seems to be that our guys don't do enough tension release things, e.g. yoga, and are too focused on just building muscle mass:
Why do we have so many ACL and other injuries? Where is our fourth quarter performance? It can be traced to the type of strength and conditioning training being practiced. There are four protocols for training: Strength, Power, Endurance, Hypertrophy. It's apparent from results on the field: Our S&C program over-emphasizes gross muscle mass, that is Hypertrophy, over Power and Endurance, which are the real factors in athletic performance. Those impressive pictures we see of our football players getting bigger? That's body building muscle, which does not translate well to sports performance, and sets up our players for injury.
The only other evidence he gave for identifying this as a Michigan problem was Bacon's assertion that NFL teams find Michigan players deficient in these protocols. It's a dense read and I have no way of judging it—even he admits S&C coaches are all over the map and nobody has a scientific basis; for all we know the four protocols could be the four humours. It certainly doesn't disprove the current consensus theory on the rash of ACL injuries: that we offended a vile demon from West Lafayette.
So now we don't stretch enough. #oppositeproblems
Etc. Update on coaching candidates. Wolverines in the NFL.
BEST OF THE BOARD
WHITE OUT, DAVE OUT
Students are organizing a "wear white" campaign for tomorrow's game to get rid of Dave Brandon. At this point I believe it will be a superfluous gesture.
PLAYER DEVELOPMENT
Taking the Spielman assertion during last week's game to heart, a guy on the board did a comparison of Michigan's player development under this staff to Dantonio's team. Result:
I think the clear theme in 1), 2), 3), and 4) is that the three year mark is the earliest reasonable time to assess player development. U of M has numerous walk-ons and 3/4 star recruits who are beyond that mark and serve as starters. Many of them are all-conference caliber players who will be drafted in the NFL. Other than Gardner, Kalis, Isaac (really? clearly not a bust), Pipkins (probably not a bust, but I’ll list him anyways), and Magnuson, all of UM’s ‘busts’ have two or fewer years. All of state’s 3-4 star recruits who developed into all-conference level players have at least three years of development. Furthermore, MSU struggles at positions where they are forced to play players with less than three years experience.
Time is something that most of Michigan's players have, and their coaches certainly don't.
MEA CULPA ON PINK
WD says they'll wear the pink gear this weekend, even though tomorrow is technically November. This time they're serious. I reported last week that they would wear it for MSU; obviously they didn't.
MICHIGAN MEN DON'T COME FROM MICHIGAN
Here's what the Free Press [edit: Daily] said about Bo when he arrived:
"Schembechler does have one thing going for him. He joins the great non-Michigan tradition of Wolverine coaches. Coming from the University of Miami, the starting point of many mentors, Schembechler, along with basketball coach John Orr, has succeeded in breaking the old system of having Michigan alums named to coach Michigan teams."
For the record, the Bo quote this "MM" business originated from referred to a guy with two Michigan degrees, who just had de-Michigan'd himself by agreeing to take a job in Arizona.
Your Moment of Zen:
Wait like 2 minutes; you're about to get a nice one.