I write this column once a year to implore college football fans to use a standard, common, descriptive set of names for the bowl games. Try saying "Copper" instead of "Buffalo Wild Wings" for the next month, and just imagine the savings!!!
In the pantheon of annoyances, I admit that companies paying somebody to make you use their name out of context is far less destructive than, say, a university trading scholastic loans as private securities and then jacking up tuition so shareholders can make more money.
Still, it is annoying. The purpose of language is the communication of ideas, and elegance in this is a thing everybody should appreciate. Names are communicative tools that allow the listener to reference all information stored on that thing. When speaking to another college football fan, the name of the bowl ought to conjure up its history and location and place in the pantheon. A name sponsor is a jerk who butts into the middle of your conversation…
: Hey, Carol-Sue. Guess what: I just bought tickets to the…
: BUFFALO WILD WINGS™ GRIDIRON SPECTACULER!!!!
: Oh that's nice. I have no idea what or where that is.
: You know, Big Ten teams play in it now but it had WAC teams in the '90s.
: Wait, the one they used to play at Arizona right? Wasn't that the…
: INSIGHT DOT COM FOOTBALLING SYNERGY™
: Yeah, that's it. Remember when Iowa played in the…
: GUARANTEE SHOCKED ABSOLUTELY UNIQUE NOW PERSONALIZED FREE ENSURE CRITICAL ACCOMPLISH WINNING RESULTS PROVEN POWERFUL SIMPLE SOLUTION™
…and makes communication of the idea more difficult. Adding syllables (they couldn't call it the B-Dubs Bowl?) adds to the annoyance. It is cold here during bowl season, so I prefer to not expend what limited body heat I have in vocalizing "The Yushityu 2007 Mimetic-Resolution-Cartridge-View-Motherboard-Easy-To-Install-Upgrade For Infernatron/InterLace TP Systems For Home, Office Or Mobile Bowl."*
What to Call Them?
Typically unless it's an older bowl just use the name of the city they play in, and if there are multiple bowls in a city start adding numbers (Tampa II, Cotton II, etc.) If everybody knows a bowl as something because it has been called that for decades, obviously use that.
After [the jump] I'll put up a handy chart of the current bowl slate, complete with sounds you can make to accurately relate meaning to another human, and commercial-free graphics that can do the same. You can keep that open as a tab on your phone or whatever as a reference this month.
| They Call It | You Call It | Logo | Started | Payout/Team | Date/Time |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| AdvoCare V100 | Independence |  | 1976 | $1,150,000 | Dec 31, 12:30p |
| Alamo | Alamo |  | 1993 | $3,175,000 | Dec 30, 6:45p |
| Armed Forces | Fort Worth |  | 2003 | $600,000 | Dec 30, 11:45a |
| BBVA Compass | Birmingham |  | 2006 | $1,000,025** | Jan 4, 1:00p |
| BCS Championship | Championship Game |  | 1998 | $18,000,000 | Jan 6, 8:30p |
| Beef'O'Brady's | Tampa II |  | 2008 | $537,500 | Dec 23, 2:00p |
| Belk | Queen City |  | 2002 | $1,700,000 | Dec 28, 3:20p |
| Buffalo Wild Wings | Copper |  | 1989 | $3,350,000 | Dec 28, 10:15p |
| Capital One | Citrus |  | 1946 | $4,550,000 | Jan 1, 1:00p |
| Chick-Fil-A | Peach |  | 1968 | $3,967,500† | Dec 31, 8:00p |
| Cotton | Cotton |  | 1936 | $3,625,000 | Jan 3, 7:30p |
| Famous Idaho Potato | Humanitarian or Potato |  | 1997 | $325,000 | Dec 21, 5:30p |
| Fiesta | Fiesta |  | 1971 | $17,000,000 | Jan 1, 8:30p |
| Fight Hunger | San Francisco |  | 2002 | $837,500 | Dec 27, 9:30p |
| Gator | Gator |  | 1945 | $3,500,000 | Jan 1, 12:00p |
| GoDaddy.com | Mobile Alabama |  | 1999 | $750,000 | Jan 5, 9:00p |
| Hawaii | Hawaii or Aloha |  | 2002 | $650,000 | Dec 24, 8:00p |
| Heart of Dallas | Heart of Dallas |  | 2010 | $1,100,000 | Jan 1, 12:00p |
| Holiday | Holiday |  | 1978 | $2,075,000 | Dec 30, 10:15p |
| Las Vegas | Las Vegas |  | 1992 | $1,100,000 | Dec 21, 3:30p |
| Liberty | Liberty |  | 1959 | $1,437,500 | Dec 31, 4:00p |
| Little Caesars | Motor City |  | 1997 | $750,000 | Dec 26, 6:00p |
| Military | D.C. |  | 2008 | $1,000,000 | Dec 27, 2:30p |
| Music City | Music City |  | 1998 | $1,837,500 | Dec 30, 3:15p |
| New Mexico | New Mexico |  | 2006 | $456,250 | Dec 21, 2:00p |
| Orange | Orange |  | 1934 | $17,000,000 | Jan 3, 8:00p |
| Outback | Outback or Hall of Fame |  | 1986 | $3,500,000 | Jan 1, 1:00p |
| Pinstripe | Pinstripe |  | 2010 | $1,800,000 | Dec 28, 12:00p |
| Poinsettia | Poinsettia |  | 2005 | $500,000 | Dec 26, 9:30p |
| R+L Carriers | New Orleans |  | 2001 | $500,000 | Dec 21, 9:00p |
| Rose | Rose |  | 1901 | $17,000,000 | Jan 1, 5:00p |
| Russell Athletic | Tangerine |  | 1990 | $2,275,000 | Dec 28, 6:45p |
| Sugar | Sugar |  | 1934 | $17,000,000 | Jan 2, 8:30p |
| Sun | Sun |  | 1934 | $2,000,000 | Dec 31, 2:00p |
| Texas | Texas or Bluebonnet |  | 2006 | $1,700,000 | Dec 27, 6:00p |
Click each logo to get the full size. Use however you like.
* [Still more descriptive than "GoDaddy.com Bowl"]
** and † [A couple bowls have higher payouts for one team; I used the highest amount.]
Degrees of Annoyance
The devouring of the Peach
Michigan happens to have drawn one of the worst this year. One man's categories:
Great (just keep the name sponsors off): Rose, Cotton, Gator, Orange, Sugar, Fiesta, Holiday, Liberty, Las Vegas, Poinsettia, Alamo, Hawaii, Heart of Dallas, Music City, Pinstripe, Sun. Either you recognize them from grand old games or they describe the city they're in.
Fine: Outback. Let's appreciate that they a.) have maintained sponsorship, and b.) don't use the full name of the restaurant, allowing the bowl to conjure imagery instead of over-salted food. Just remember the Hall of Fame.
Go Back to the Old Name That We All Knew: Peach, Independence, Citrus, Bluebonnet, Copper, Humanitarian, Tangerine (yes that was the name of a lot of bowls but remembering it's the Citrus's little brother is easy).
Just Get Rid of It: The ones named for cities are just waiting for naming sponsors. We need to offload half the bowls anyway and these make for easy targets: Armed Forces in Fort Worth not to be confused with the military themed one in Washington, D.C., the one in Birmingham, the second one in Tampa, the one formerly known as Queen City, the San Fran one, the one in Mobile that's never had a good name, the one in Detroit, New Mexico, that other military one in D.C., New Mexico, New Orleans.