PUNT
By Bryan MacKenzie
2010 was supposed to be the year. Sure, Sparty beat the worst Michigan team in modern memory in 2008, and squeaked by the second-worst Michigan team in modern memory in overtime at home the following year. But Michigan entered the 2010 tilt 5-0 and ranked #18, with Heisman candidate Denard Robinson leading an offense that was scoring 41 points per game. It was time for Sparty to sit back down. Big Brother had returned from his vision quest.
Michigan State won by 17. They went on to win a share of the Big Ten title. Michigan fired Rich Rodriguez.
Getty
Then 2013 was the year. Sure, Sparty won the Trash Tornado game of 2011, but Michigan went on to win the Sugar Bowl that year, and in 2012 they defeated Michigan State 12-10 on a last-second field goal. So as the 2013 season started, we thought that surely this was the point in time where the universe would right itself. The Brady Hoke recruiting train was unstoppable. It was inevitable.
Michigan State won by 22. Michigan rushed for -48 yards. They fired Brady Hoke 14 months later.
Gregory Shamus
Then 2015 was the year. Led by recently-arrived demigod Jim Harbaugh, Michigan was 5-1 and ranked #12 in the country, and though Sparty was #7, they were a paper tiger, and had a number of injuries at key positions. They were coming off of one-score victories over Purdue and Rutgers. Michigan was a significant favorite.
Michigan State won by 4. And while it took an absolute miracle to happen, the game was unexpectedly competitive throughout, with Michigan State having the ball in Michigan territory late with a chance to win. Michigan State went to the College Football Playoff.
AP/Tony Ding
So 2016 was FINALLY the year, right? Mired in a 3-9 season and coming off of losses to Northwestern and Maryland, Sparty was no match for Jim Harbaugh's 7-0, #2-ranked juggernaut. Michigan was a 24-point favorite.
Michigan won, and won handily. But Michigan State marched downfield on their opening possession and scored. They managed to make the score respectable (if unrepresentative of the game), and escaped with their "dignity" intact. It wasn't an emphatic closing of a chapter. Merely a turning of a page.
This is what Sparty does. They have up years, and they have down years. They have good games, and they have bad games. But the one constant is that they play Michigan tougher than you have any right to reasonably to expect. You can trace this back further if you like. The Inaugural Little Brother Classic. Braylonfest. The Spartan Bob game. Tripping Desmond. Sparty shows up.
If you really want to, we can argue why. We can debate what it says about the two programs, or the two fan bases, or society, or the nature of time and space themselves. But the why is irrelevant.
2017 was supposed to be the year. I didn't expect MSU to have a shot at being competitive in this game. I still don't expect them to win. Michigan's defense is better than Michigan State's defense. Michigan's offense is better than Michigan State's offense. Michigan is a better football team. But I've said all of that that before.
Michigan State 10, Michigan 9
----------------------------
COUNTERPUNT
By Nick RoUMel
Who is Paul Bunyan? Most readers know him, dimly, as a large man with an axe, and an ox. (And an ex. What is less known about Mr. Bunyan is the messy divorce that sent him to the woods in the first place.)
I kick yo’ ass Paul, you run around on me.
What began as logging folklore became legend, then pop culture. When Paul Bunyan was born, he cried so loud he scared the fish from the streams and made the frogs go deaf. His parents milked two dozen cows a day just to keep him fed. He once sneezed and created 11 miles of timber. His breakfast griddle was so big, that the cook strapped two hams to his feet and skated half a mile just to grease it.
Then there was the winter of the blue snow. It was so cold, words froze in midair and the Great Lakes iced over from the bottom up. Walking one day, Paul heard a bleat. It was baby Babe, the blue ox.
Note that Babe is not a Green Ox. Whoever heard of such a thing?
Paul became so legendary that no fewer than six towns have laid claim to his birth, from Bangor, Maine, to Westwood, California, where Paul’s statue looks like he’s just finished a latte and is about to vape.
We have to carry our axe around, to not be mistaken for a hipster. But, it’s a locally-produced axe.
Oscoda, Michigan is the "Official Home of Paul Bunyan" because the Oscoda Press published the first Bunyan story in 1906.
Now Paul Bunyan is an animated film starring John Goodman as Paul, and Jeff Foxworthy as the Ox. And of course, some smart ass little boy, well, just because.
This is not your typical family.
But how did Paul Bunyan come to personify the winner of the Michigan-Michigan State football game?
Then-Governor G. Mennen “Soapy” Williams donated the four-foot wooden statue to mark Michigan State's acceptance into the Big Ten (apocryphally because his wife wouldn’t let it in the cottage), and to commemorate Michigan as a major lumber-producing state. But neither school wanted it. Fritz Crisler announced he would refuse acceptance if Michigan won the ’53 game; but State beat the Wolverines. In ’54, Michigan won but left the trophy on the field. They would not engrave their winning scores on it, so Sparty did it for them. A tie in ’58 flummoxed both teams. MSU, heavily favored, was too embarrassed to keep the trophy, but ended up taking it home because the Wolverines turned their backs on it.
Despite Sparty’s recent success, Michigan still leads the Bunyan-era series 36–26–2.
Ah yes, Sparty’s recent success. Punt, above, succinctly describes it. But one thing must be emphasized: MSU’s winning six of seven was fortuitously accomplished only because Michigan had neither a coach, nor a football program, from 2008-2014. Like Michigan State, our University only produced manure during that period. As I have written before, Mark Dantonio’s success directly correlates with Michigan’s hiatus from major college football, when corporate missteps resulted in the Wolverines hitting the snooze button for seven straight years. Last year, finally, the trend reverted to form—back to the days when Sparty was lucky to win three times a decade, and was scrambling for the Astro-Bluebonnet bowl come November.
Those days are back. Spartan football is somewhere between the MAC and Purdue, with two-star recruits and a scowling coach, resting on past glories. They’ve replayed the movie “300” and the highlights from (that thing that happened) so often, the tape is worn like the pants of a beggar on Main Street. Their fall from the nation’s elite was so hard and fast, that it makes them wake up at 3 AM and seethe with memories, regrets, and the desire to seek comfort on the couch…until they remember they burned it.
Yes, they play us tough; I don’t pretend that Sparty doesn’t come ready to ball. But thetalent will be far short, despite relentless effort that will net upwards of 4 yards a play. Don Brown, Devin Bush, and a host of others will make sure that there is nothing more than that.
And on offense? Every lumbering green and white form is Tony Levine; John O’Korn will scream with motivation and desire; and Ty Isaac will mow down Spartan timber like a Paul Bunyan sneeze.
So, Paul. He may not have been born here, but he will permanently relocate to Ann Arbor tonight, in the rain and swirling winds. He and his blue ox will easily survive the storm, and engrave their legend for another glorious era.
MICHIGAN 28, MSU 6