[Ed-S: Bacon’s latest book is a personal memoir of John Saunders, and Saunders’ lifelong battle with depression. Ira Weintraub (@michiganinsider), co-host of WTKA The Ticket’s flagship, The Michigan Insider, offered to review it since he read it faster than I could.
Playing Hurt: My Journey from Despair to Hope by John Saunders, is available from Amazon in hardcover, Kindle, or Audiobook format, or you can get a copy from the publisher directly. Take it away Ira:
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Let me start by making a few things very clear: John U Bacon is my friend, and I think he’s a terrific writer. So, yes, I am biased in his favor. But that did not influence my opinion of Bacon’s newest book, “Playing Hurt: My Journey from Despair to Hope,” which he wrote with his friend and long-time ESPN broadcaster John Saunders.
Let’s make one other point very clear – this is not a Michigan book, even though you are reading this review on a Michigan site. There are Michigan references, stories and anecdotes in “Playing Hurt.” But this is not a Michigan book. And, no, this is not a sports book, although sports is a big part of Saunders’ life story.
So what kind of book is it? It’s a life-lessons book. It’s a story of overcoming a myriad of obstacles and the ability to endure just about everything the world and society can throw at you. It is also the best book in the John U Bacon literary collection.
[Hit the JUMP for…an interview with Will Heininger?!?]
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Bacon and Saunders are able throughout the book to take you on the roller coaster ride that was John Saunders’ life. They take you from the highest of highs—Saunders’ relationships with his brother, wife and kids and being a successful, nationally respected sports broadcaster—to the lowest of the lows—depression, physical abuse and sexual abuse.
Saunders’ battle with depression is fascinating, scary, heart-breaking and heart-warming. After reading the book, the first person I thought about was former Michigan football player Will Heininger (defensive end for Michigan from 2007-2011), who is now very open in his conversations about his fight with depression. He even turned that into a career; he now serves as a program coordinator for the University of Michigan Depression Center.
“’Playing Hurt’ is about depression—the illness—and the widespread impacts it can have on our lives, and yet, it is a page-turner like none other of its kind,” said Heininger. (For the record, I read the book in about 48 hours).
Based on conversations I’ve had with Heininger and other experts in this field, battling depression can be very lonely. Many with depression won’t share their illness with others. For a variety of reasons. Even Saunders was reluctant to share his story. It took time to start the process for “Playing Hurt” and took five years to write, edit and print.
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| Former Michigan DL starter Will Heininger battled depression and now helps others do so through Michigan Athlete Connected. |
“Saunders' vulnerability and openness with his depression puts yet another famous face to an illness that all too often is hidden in darkness,” Heininger said. “His story brings to light the monster that is mental illness—or illness of the brain—and reminds us what we already know: any medical condition, from diabetes, to a broken bone, to cancer, to depression, anxiety, addiction, disordered eating, etc. is best treated by a professional who can help minimize the negative impact the condition has on the patient's life, and return us to normal levels of functioning.”
But “Playing Hurt” would not be the page-turner so many of us thoroughly enjoyed if it weren’t for the life stories—personal and professional—Saunders was willing to share.
“I admire the artful intertwining of Saunders' love for sport, and an opponent far tougher than any he faced in athletic competition,” said Heininger who also suffered other significant injuries to his body during his playing career. “Sports can teach us a lot about life – and mental health is a BIG part of said life. So when we tear our ACLs, we have realistic expectations. We don't expect to be able to run again tomorrow, next week or even next month. We know we'll probably need surgery, that we'll have to work hard on painful rehab to regain the functioning of the knee joint and the supporting structures, and that it will be difficult. But six, nine, 12 months later, if we work hard, we'll be as good as new, or even better.
“We don't have to like the situation – it sucks to tear your ACL -- but we can control our actions and choices going forward. It's the same with mental health issues. No one likes being depressed. But the longer we let it go without getting help, the longer our brain will not function properly, and thus we'll feel down. And when we do get help, we can't expect it to get better overnight.
“Just like the ACL rehab, we need to work consistently with medical professionals, sometimes through painful moments, to regain the levels of functioning (and happiness) that we desire. But sooner than later, WE. GET. BETTER (even though one of the symptoms of depression is a distorted thought/belief that we'll never get better).”
Saunders was getting better. He seemed to be thriving personally and professionally when he had his horrific fall on the ESPN set in 2011. That’s where many of us thought this book would begin. But, despite his remarkable recovery and return to television, that is just a small part of the John Saunders story. Tragically, Saunders’ untimely death August 10, 2016, cut short what should have been an extremely happy ending to this story. Unfortunately, he will not see the benefits of him telling his story. We will now remember Saunders for being so much more than a TV guy.
“John Saunders was so relatable as a sportscaster,” Heininger said. “You always felt like he was talking to just you—like he ‘got you,’ even though he was on the other side of the television, while in a Manhattan ESPN studio. (Bacon) takes us behind Saunders’ public persona to show us a different kind of relatability, the triumphs, perceived disasters and the day to day of a man battling a quiet monster of an illness – depression – while trying to be the outstanding father, husband, and professional that he was.”