The Question:
3 sports things you'd change if you could go back in time. (Non-death division.)
— Please Grab a Sprite (@eric_time) April 6, 2017
The Responses:
Brian: nope nope nope!
Seth: Got a better one?
Brian: this is me participating
Seth: Oh.
Ace: This Week’s Obsession Reveals Intra-Office Dynamics
Seth: That's every TWO
Ace: True.
We should probably just get the Shawn Crable incident out of the way. After thinking for a moment, I’m actually terrified at how much competition that has for this top three.
Adam: JT Barrett and a certain spot come to mind as well. There's solid competition even if this was limited to solely The Game.
hooray.
Brian: /giphy nope octopus
Okay. Points for obscurity. No Crable, no spot, no Horror, no 2-point conversion. Weird little things.
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[We don’t hate you, dear readers, so it’s all after THE JUMP]
Seth:
Dennis Franklin-quarterbacked Michigan teams could have won back to back national championships if the world was remotely fair. [Robert Kalmbach collection, UM Bentley Library]
1. Woody’s white line. Every Michigan fan is contractually obligated to be upset about 1973, when the winning field goal was erroneously ruled wide, ending The Game in a 10-10 tie and setting in motion a sketchy 6-4 vote to send the weaker Buckeyes to Pasadena.
But that was just an extension of 1972. John Kryk:
Trailing 14-11 midway through the fourth quarter, and with a 3rd-and-1 at the Buckeye 2, Wolverine tailback Harry Banks appeared to pierce the goal-line plane for the go-ahead touchdown. Only he didn’t, according to the officials.
What? Aren’t they gonna raise their hands?! …” Ufer said incredulously on the air.
“Galdarnit, what do you gotta do down here to score a touchdown?! It’s like a plane of glass — all you have to do is be is on, over or above that white line, and yet those officials are so intimidated by Woody Hayes, everybody looked at each other, and nobody had the guts.”
On 4th down, Schembechler eschewed the game-tying field goal that, barring another Buckeye score, would have put Michigan in the Rose Bowl. He called for a QB sneak by Franklin. Officials rushed to the heap of players massed over the goal line.
“There, they’re calling it!” Ufer announced. “NO SIR! Ohhh, I can’t believe it. Oh, that’s the rottenest deal I’ve ever seen in football. TWICE they’re in over that last white line …”
If either one is ruled a touchdown, Bo has a perfect season and a shot at #1 USC. Instead, the '72-'74 Wolverines would go 30-2-1 with Franklin under center yet never make a bowl.
2. That catch made by Kelvin Grady vs MSU where they marked him back two yards from whence he caught it, setting up a 4th and 1 where Michigan doesn't pick up a cornerback blitz.
I need to think about my #1.
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Ace: I have my three. Apologies in advance for this first one.
3. Antonio Bass never blows out his knee. This isn’t even really about a smoother transition into the Rich Rodriguez era, though that would’ve been nice. I just wanted to watch Antonio Bass play football. Even Lloyd Carr and Mike DeBord knew to just get the ball into his hands:
He could’ve been a prolific slot demon, a true spread QB, or both. Instead, he had to retire from football while we watched Nick Sheridan and Steven Threet.
2. David Bowens doesn’t get kicked off the team. Bowens became one of my childhood favorite players when he set a school record with 12 sacks as a sophomore in 1996, but that would be his final season at Michigan; academic issues forced a transfer to Western Illinois. While Michigan’s defense the next year obviously didn’t need him, it’s fun to imagine adding another fearsome pass-rusher to a line that already boasted James Hall and Glen Steele. Hall, who spent over a decade in the NFL, may not even have started on that line.
Bowens was a ridiculous athlete:
Pops attended every event his son competed in. He watched Bowens beat the N.B.A. pro Shane Battier in a national high school slam-dunk competition, watched him win the state long jump title with a 23-foot leap and set the season sack record at Michigan.
1. Urban Meyer never leaves Florida. I’m 100% this petty. This also ensures The Spot never happens, making this a nice two-for-one even though The Spot doesn’t count for this exercise.
Seth: Bowens was just one of an embarrassment of elite edge rushers Greg Mattison recruited to Michigan in his first go around. (National Recruiting Advisor uses the same scale as Rivals)
1994:
- Juaquin Feazell: NRA 6.1 (5-star) #2 DE
- Rasheed Simmons: NRA 6.1 (5-star) #1 OLB
- Tim Laws: NRA 6.0 (high 4-star) #6 WDE
- Chris Singletary: NRA 5.9 (solid 4-star) #5 SLB
1995:
- David Bowens: NRA 6.1 (5-star) #1 WDE, Superprep: #3 LB, #1 Midwest, Lemming: #5 OLB, #12 Midwest
- James Hall: Top 105 to Emfinger, #13 DE to Lemming
- Patrick Kratus: #25 LB to Superprep, #27 DE to Lemming
(That '95 class also had Woodson and Brady in it by the way.)
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Brian: Brady Hoke retains Calvin Magee as OC. This was probably untenable but i mean goddang man I wanted to see what Denard Robinson could do as an upperclassman with an offensive coordinator who had any idea how to use him. Anything approximating his sophomore year output opposite a Hoke/Mattison defense is a damn good team and possibly gets Michigan some silverware before the inevitable Hoke decline kicked in.
Seth: Not that untenable. "Hi, would you like you coach Denard for two years then take whatever Power 5 job you want? You will? Good. Wait right here....FREY, where you going with those boxes? Listen..."
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BiSB:
1)
2)
3)
Honorable mention for PITCH IT TO BREASTON
BECAUSE YOU ARE TYLER ECKER AND HE IS STEVE BREASTON
Seth:
Ace:
Brian: Honestly that doesn't make my top 50. Payoff is an Alamo Bowl win, which whoopie.
Ace: But also an all-timer of a play. It doesn't quite reach the point of various rivalry-related things but it’s up there.
BiSB: Like, if this magic time machine has enough gas/plutonium for a fourth stop, that's SUCH an easy fix.
This isn't "Make 2008 Michigan good at football." It's "here, toss this football five feet, instead of not."
Ace: Stakes only matter so much when you can have a completely batshit moment, too. Wisconsin 2008, and specifically the Johnny Thompson pick-six, still ranks pretty high for me for favorite games/moments I’ve seen in person. That shit was cathartic.
BiSB: And does that Alamo Bowl win get Michigan ranked a liiiiiiittle higher pre-season in 2006, which could maybe possibly get Michigan the extra couple of votes at the end of the 2006 season? I dunno. Probably not? You tell me, Guy Who Doesn't Think You Should Pitch The Ball To Breaston.
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David:
3. Antonio Bass never gets hurt.
2. Luke Hancock Hurts His Shooting Hand. I know, I know but Spike came out of nowhere to make everything, blah, blah...this is MGoBlog. Hancock comes off the bench and goes 5/5 from deep and 7/10 from the line. If he had say...played too much Xbox the night before and pulled his First Dorsal Interosseous, that would have been acceptable. The best Michigan bball team in 20 years gets their ring and we retire #3 in the Crisler rafters.
1. Hagelin's Goal Counts. Michigan doesn't go to overtime in St Paul, but wins 3-2 in regulation. They claim their 3rd national title in 15 years, get to 10 overall, and Red retires on top. This give him his proper sendoff, Michigan can smoothly transition out of Legendary Coach Era, and we can see what Pearson can do at the wheel. And we've hopefully avoided the last five messy hockey seasons and are not facing the conundrum as to What Do We Do Now.
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Adam:
3. Rich Rodriguez gets Jeff Casteel to come with him. This is the spiritual predecessor to Brian's one about Calvin Magee. I just really want to see what a team with Denard could have done with a competent defense.
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| In this scenario Dr. Vorax and his friend Greg Robinson become co-head coaches of Illinois. |
2. Are you a grad assistant? Is it 2008? Are you doing anything that could be construed as coaching? Well please stop doing that.
1. Hagelin's goal seals the 2011 title. As David mentioned, Red clearly yearns to hang one more consequential banner in Yost before retiring. Unfortunately, he's only slipped further and further away since this game.
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Seth: Okay I've got my 3rd. We're going back to the week before my junior year, August 24, 2000, walking into Oosterbaan Fieldhouse, and wrapping *Drew Henson's foot in bubble wrap.*
Not only does a healthy Henson beat UCLA, but not playing on a injured foot all year puts that dual threat thing back on the table. Rather than scrambling to prep freshman Navarre, Michigan's coaches try to scheme ways to use Henson's legs in the offense and (via introduction to Clemon's OC via Don Nehlan) start experimenting with that newfangled zone read stuff Randy Walker's been on about.
Next offseason, when that Buckeye George Steinbrenner offers Drew his Judas money to forego his senior season, instead of thinking about that miserable year playing on a broken foot, Henson's considerable intellect is pondering the possibilities of that little trick play that was so successful last year.
In 2001 Michigan unveils a two-back shotgun offense predicated on it, solving their TE issues by putting RB/receiver hybrid Calvin Bell in the slot instead. Michigan romps undefeated through the season, breaking tempo-free rushing records like the promises of that I-AA coach they just hired in Columbus. In one of the greatest games in college football history, played, appropriately, in Pasadena, "Heisman" Henson almost single-handedly keeps Michigan apace with a clearly superior Miami squad, until the dream of a national championship ends on 4th down when Drew is chased down in the open field by Ed Reed.
Stan Parrish uses the credit from one of the most prolific offensive seasons (with an all-new OL no less) in history to jump back to the NFL, and Carr hires himself a young spread guru, a Notre Dame offensive assistant who was already being mentioned as a candidate for the Bowling Green head coaching job. A day after signing day, newly minted Michigan OC and QB coach Urban Meyer is in Houston, talking to the nation's top 2002 dual threat quarterback about becoming the next Drew Henson. (edited)
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Seth: Brian? Got your last two?
David: Other suggestions: Kordell Stewart slips, Pryor chooses Michigan, Webber doesn't call timeout
Ace: Henri ate Brian’s last two answers.
Brian: 2. Seth doesn't make us do this TWO. Things were happier and brighter then.
1. 'Blossom' is not cancelled and is currently the most popular show on television in its 26th year. RIP Blossom.
Seth: The rules clearly said sports.
Brian: What are "sports," really? If everything from rally car racing to curling is a sport the term is so amorphous that RIP BLOSSOM XOXOXOOOOOOOOOO
David: Can we bring back 'Coach,' too? That's semi-football related
Brian: No. : (