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Dear Diary Says Don’t Steal Burp Cloths

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WOO!:

You gotta love how they’re so used to Gary wrecking things by now that only one person whoops. Also Carlo Kemp looks ready. We have mixed feelings on Mason Cole murderating Winovich. More discussion is in the thread.

CHOPPING LIVERS

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[Bryan Fuller]

A couple of all-star diaries were posted this week from user matt D on 2017 hoops recruit Isaiah Livers. We front-paged the offensive one on Monday. Here’s the defense one, and a taste:

Helpside Defense/Rotations

Inconsistent. Shows ability to make proper rotations at times, but too often is caught stagnant and doesn't rotate at all. Needs to improve reaction time on helpside rotations, has ability with athleticism and size.

The posts include films cut up by the OP where you can see what he’s seeing. The ability is there but there’s still a lot of defensive development.

While we’re on the subject of basketball’s near future, AC1997 made us a diary trying to project who will play next year. AC’s not expecting a 10-man bench—and thoroughly demonstrates why—and challenges the reader to find two regulars off the bench from Brooks, Poole, Livers, Teske, and Davis. I’m guessing Brooks comes into minutes later in the year like Simpson did, and that we don’t see a lot of Poole or Livers. Teske and Davis will be normal backup centers, with one getting 30% of minutes and the other 10% or so.

SO ABOUT FOOTBALL: WE GON’ BE GOOD?

Well…

sW2SUA6

…Ecky Pting did some S&P+ analysis versus things we know about our opponents and it still looks like 3rd in the Big Ten East, and that or 4th in the conference. Michigan at Penn State will be the difference between an excellent season and, like, a Citrus-y one. Ohio State is on another level.

WHAT’S A 5-STAR RECEIVER?

Bones032 stole my thunder a bit since I have an article coming up on DPJ comps. But he also made my job way easier by finding every 5-star receiver since 2000 and tracking their freshman production. Conclusions:

That means 59 players played their freshman years.

21 had over 500 yds receiving

19 had at least 5 receiving TDs

21 did some return duties

Also just 1 in 5 was a freshman All-American. This seems consistent with the 5-star-to-NFL rate, which is about 50% will be pros, 20% will be 1st rounders, and that’s more than double the rate of 4-stars.

The Mathlete is working on something similar right now by % of total position starts taken by year in program. Everyone shoots up as juniors, but it does seem the larger the human, the more slowly you develop.

[After THE JUMP: everything you need to know about parenting a child to 18 hours]

BEFORE FERRY FIELD

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Dr. Sap or Greg Dooley in training Wolverine Devotee reached the next level of Michigan Football History dorkdom by coming across the Washtenaw County Fairgrounds, i.e the former name of Regents Field, i.e. first home of Wolverines football. HTTV readers probably already know all of this stuff and have seen the photos Bentley has, but WD’s description of those middle early years is a nice intro into a world of stuff Michigan people were writing down and photographing about their young program.

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HOW TO HAVE A CHILD (ACCORDING TO A SPORTS BLOGGER)

The thread was called “OT – Calling MGoDads” and solicited advice for becoming a first-time parent. It is as of this writing already past 200 replies because the first thing to know about becoming a parent is you will develop an insatiable urge to give parenting advice.

So…

During Pregnancy:

DO: learn all there is to know about your wife’s family’s pregnancy history and have a plan with her OB for all the bad things that happened to her mother/sister/aunts. Also read up on Pitocin, the drug they use to induce labor.

DON’T: Respond, at all, ever, no matter how logical or wise your response might be.

PRO TIP: Buy her a pedicure at 36 weeks. She won’t have seen those feet for awhile and then suddenly she’s staring at them for hours—she can be staring at something hideous, or at your gift.

Having the Baby:

DO: Download an app to track the contractions, and call the OB after you’ve got an hour or so of them to report. Now pack your bag: phone and kindle chargers, stuff for 3 days in case you have a c-section, clean sweatpants and sweatshirt, and flipflops (you’ll be doing a lot of runs through the hallway for ice chips and whatnot). Also if you care about how coffee tastes pack yours plus a french press—they’ll have hot water on tap you can use with it.
When you get to the hospital, work the docs in triage to get her admitted as soon as possible, and keep an eye on the machine tracking her contractions so you can tell when a really bad one is coming.
DO DO DO: Once they get that epidural in her both of you try to get some sleep—you have NO IDEA how much you’ll want that sleep later.

DON’T: Ever visit the birthing center floor’s pantry without lining your pockets with ginger cookies, pop, crackers and other stuff. It won’t be in the postpartum ward and your wife will need lots of little carb snacks later on.

PRO TIP: To avoid having family members descend on the hospital like flies: 1) Start a text thread of a few close people who are charged with sending out updates to their respective trees of family/friends. 2) When starting this thread let them know not to come to the hospital until after baby’s born because the waiting room has awful cell service and no wifi.

After baby is born:

DO: Take the hospital up their training offers. Bathing and wrapping a good swaddle are two skills you’ll want to pay attention to, and the lactation specialist will help your wife a lot (mostly by telling her everything is normal and fine and don’t worry so much). Car seat lady is sort of useless, but she’s very good at providing an excuse to get Aunt Bertha to leave.

DON’T: Order just one meal at a time from room service. Your insurance is paying for it, and they’re wise to the fact that husbands are ordering when they’re not supposed to, so the portions end up really small. Avoid the noodles—they’re hideous.

PRO TIP: Take everything that isn’t nailed down. Especially load up on formula and diapers. Take all the pumping equipment (they have to throw it out) except the pump itself. I wouldn’t tell you to steal burp cloths (which you’ll need lots of in the coming months) because stealing is wrong. But I can’t stress this enough: MESH UNDERWEAR. If your nurse is cool she’ll hook you up. Get a month’s supply of those, because you’ll need them and they don’t sell them anywhere.

OTHER PRO TIP: Get the pump (the one she can use in the car) while you’re at the hospital. Ask the OB for a script ASAP and call it into the in-hospital pharmacy.

After you go home:

DO: Get a tub and a good brush for washing the pump bottles since you’ll be doing a lot of that. The bottle nipples need a pipecleaner—skimp on that and they get crusty and awful. There’s a drying rack that looks like plastic-y grass that’s perfect for these.

DON’T: Promise her to any lads of similar age. She’ll want to make that call on her own, and anyway as a former young lad I can tell you gentlemen prefer women who are already potty-trained.

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ETC. Michigan isn’t going to leave Kirby Smart alone. Best B1G hoops hire? Scouting report on an OT by Magnus and yes I’m only linking it because I’m partial to tight ends who become tackles. Michigan things from various podcasts. How’d you turn blue?

Your Moment of Zen: 


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