The tradition continues. See previous for Why.
: Oh, flibblyniblets.
: What’s wrong, April?
: I am trying to surprise my husband with a bowl trip this year but I don’t know how to communicate where we’re going. I thought we were going to the Orange Bowl, but then I looked it up and it said some sort of credit card company.
: Oh, I see what happened.
: You do?
: Why yes, you need COMMON LANGUAGE!
: Lamegwege? What’s that?
: Language! I use it all the time! It’s a body of words—and the systems for their use—that are common to a people who are of the same linguistic community. Here’s how it works:
Words are used to convey meanings that the listener is already conditioned to understand. The words enter the ear canal and are interpreted by the brain into cognitive thoughts.
: But I’ve tried that. What if, like, some credit card company pays to replace the words for a bowl game with their name?
: Silly April, you can’t BUY language! All you have to do is use words that your listener will comprehend.
For example here’s how you refer to all of this year’s bowl games in English:
(bold are the ones where they’ve done away with the real names. All times are EST. Click each logo to get the full size. Use however you like.)
| Date/Time | You Call it | They Call It | Since | Teams | Logo |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Dec 17 | New Mexico | Gildan… | 2006 | UNM/UTSA |  |
| Dec 17 | Las Vegas | “ | 1992 | SDSU/Houston |  |
| Dec 17 | Camellia | Raycom Media… | 2014 | AppSt/Toledo |  |
| Dec 17 | Cure | AutoNation… | 2015 | ArkSt/UCF |  |
| Dec 17 | New Orleans | R+L Carriers | 2001 | S.Miss/La-Laf |  |
| Dec 19 | Miami Beach | “ | 2014 | Tulsa/CMU |  |
| Dec 20 | Boca Bowl | Boca Raton | 2014 | WKU/Memphis |  |
| Dec 21 | Poinsettia | San Diego County Credit Union… | 2005 | BYU/Wyoming |  |
| Dec 22-7pm | Potato | Famous Idaho… | 1997 | Idaho/CSU |  |
| Dec 23-1pm | Bahamas | Popeyes… | 2014 | EMU/Old Dom |  |
| Dec23-4:30 | The Military One at TCU | Lockheed Martin Armed Forces | 2003 | Navy/LaTech |  |
| Dec23-8pm | Mobile | Dollar General | 1999 | Troy/OHIO! |  |
| Dec24-8pm | Hawaii | “ | 2002 | Hawaii/MTSU |  |
| Dec26-11am | (or Tampa II) | St. Petersburg | 2008 | MSU (NTMSU)/ Miami (NTM) |  |
| Dec26-2:30 | Motor City | Quick Lane | 2014 | Maryland/BC |  |
| Dec26-5pm | Independence | Camping World… | 1976 | NCSt/Vandy |  |
| Dec27-noon | Heart of Dallas or Cotton II | Zaxby’s… | 2010 | Army/N.Tex |  |
| Dec27-3:30 | The Military one in D.C. | Military Bowl | 2008 | Temple/Wake |  |
| Dec27-7pm | Holiday | National Funding… | 1978 | Minn/WSU |  |
| Dec27-10:15 | Cactus (or Copper) | Motel 6… | 1989 | Baylor/Boise |  |
| Dec28-2pm | Pinstripe | New Era… | 2010 | Pitt/NWern |  |
| Dec28=5:30 | Tangerine or Citrus II | Russell Athletic | 1990 | Miami(YTM)/ WVU |  |
| Dec28-8:30 | San Francisco | Foster Farms | 2002 | IU/Utah |  |
| Dec28-9pm | Texas or Bluebonnet | AdvoCare V100… | 2006 | A&M/KSU |  |
| Dec29-2pm | Birmingham | “ | 2006 | SC/USF |  |
| Dec29-5:30 | Queen City | Belk | 2002 | Ark/VT |  |
| Dec29-9pm | Alamo | Valero… | 1993 | OkSt/Colo |  |
| Dec30-noon | Liberty | Autozone… | 1959 | UGA/TCU |  |
| Dec30-1pm | Sun Bowl | Hyandai | 1934 | Stan/UNC |  |
| Dec30-3:30 | Music City | Franklin American Mortgage… | 1998 | Neb/Tenn |  |
| Dec30-5:30 | Arizona | Nova Home Loans… | 2016 | AF/S.Bama |  |
| Dec30-8pm | Orange | Capital One… | 1935 | Mich/FSU |  |
| Dec31-11a | Citrus | Buffalo Wild Wings… | 1946 | L’ville/LSU |  |
| Dec31-11a | Gator | Taxslayer | 1945 | GT/Kentucky |  |
| Dec31-noon | Peach* | Chick-fil-A | 1968 | Bama/UW |  |
| Dec31-7pm | Fiesta* | PlayStation… | 1971 | Clemson/OSU |  |
| Jan2-1pm | Outback (or Hall of Fame) | “ | 1986 | Florida/Iowa |  |
| Jan2-1pm | Cotton | Goodyear Cotton Bowl Classic | 1937 | WMU/Wis |  |
| Jan2-5pm | Rose | “ | 1902 | PSU/USC |  |
| Jan2-8:30p | Sugar | Allstate… | 1935 | Auburn/Okla |  |
| Jan9-8:30p | CFP National Championship | 2015 | ?/? |  |
* semi-final games.
: So I’m a bit less confused, but why is the bowl in Jerryworld called the “Cotton Bowl” when the one played at the Cotton Bowl is called “Heart of Dallas”?
: I guess that’s why they added “Classic” to it, but yeah, words can’t fix everything. They can assist in communication, not guarantee clarity.
: So I can actually use these names to convey meaning to other people who speak the same language as me! Tell me, is this legal?
: Have you entered into a contract with any of the sponsors above where they pay you to replace words in your speech with their names?
: Well, no, that actually sounds kind of...
: yeah.
: …fizzly. Flupped even. Totally flupped beyond wizzly fizzy.
: Glad we had this conversation.