[Bryan Fuller, 2013]
PUNT
By Bryan MacKenzie
Chaos.
Football is a study in chaos. It is, at its heart. an incomprehensible number of variables plugged into an immensely complicated equation. What's the defensive alignment? What's the offensive personnel group? What's the coverage call? What's the snap count? What's the protection call? What routes are the receivers running? What are the weather conditions? What's the quarterback's progression? What are the linebacker's keys? Now, put it all together with the unknown that accompany twenty-two humans trying to execute various complicated assignments simultaneously, each of which is actively opposed by at least one other human being.
Okay, now do it a hundred more times, and add the whole thing up.
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| [Bryan Fuller, 2015] |
It is in this sense that we welcome CHAOS TEAM to the Big House. Indiana has spent the majority of the Kevin Wilson era being the least predictable team in the country. They haven't been all that good, but their style of trying to stress opponents into mistakes through tempo and creative aggression, combined with their willingness to give up big plays in myriad hilarious ways, has meant that Hoosier games are often unexpectedly close. And they have been peak CHAOS against Michigan. Four of the last five meetings have been bonkers in one way or another:
- In 2009, Indiana gained, and lost, the lead four separate times, losing it for good with two and a half minutes left in the fourth quarter. Indiana lost 36-33 despite outgaining Michigan by nearly a hundred yards.
- In 2010, Ben Chappell put up 480 yards passing on 64 attempts, and Denard Robinson matched him with 494 yards of total offense on 11.4 yards per carry and 17.3 yards per pass. Indiana scored a touchdown with 1:15 remaining to tie the game, and promptly allowed a touchdown 58 seconds later. Michigan won 42-35
- In 2013, the teams combined for 1,323 total yards (more than 3/4 of a mile), with Indiana's 572 yards being dwarfed by Michigan's 751. Jeremy Gallon caught 14 passes for 369 yards. Michigan won 63-47.
- Last year, the teams combined for over 1,100 yards, including 440 passing yards from Jake Rudock. Michigan scored a touchdown on the last play of regulation to tie the game, and they won in double overtime on a goal line stop.
Sure, Michigan hasn't lost to Indiana since 1987, and hasn't lost at home since 1967. But CHAOS TEAM cares not for such things. They know that if you change the initial conditions ever so slightly, it can have a huge impact on what would otherwise seem to be an inevitable outcome.
We saw how big of a difference the absence of Ryan Glasgow made in last year's game. This year, Michigan is starting a new quarterback, and the weather forecast is looking bleak. And MIchigan is coming off its worst performance of the year. Is that enough for Indiana to pull the upset? Probably not. Is it enough to make every Michigan fan yell at least once "WHAT THE HELL IS EVEN HAPPENING AT THIS MOMENT?" Almost certainly. Michigan 116, Indiana 104 (8 OT)
[Erich Upchurch, 2014]
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COUNTERPUNT
by Nick RoUMel
So it’s just one loss, right?
Sunshine, blue skies, please go away
My girl has found another and gone away
With her went my future, my life is filled with gloom
So day after day I stay locked up in my room
I know to you, it might sound strange
But I wish it would rain
(The Temptations, “I Wish It Would Rain”)
Seriously, what’s the big deal? We’re still ranked #3 in the CFP!
I mean, “Punt Classic” and “Three” and I had an enjoyable trip to Iowa, riding the “Hawkeye Express” choo-choo to Kinnick, and soaking up the atmosphere …
… and then this happened:
We went back to our hotel and were locked out, for 14 hours (fact):
So now we’re supposed to be excited to play Indiana? Nah, we be like:
Day in, day out, my tear stained face
Pressed against the window pane.
My eyes search the skies, desperately for rain.
'Cause raindrops will hide my teardrops.
And no one will ever know.
That I'm cryin'... cryin' when I go outside.
To the world outside my tears, I refuse to explain.
Oh, I wish it would rain.
Actually, it’s going to snow. MICHIGAN something, INDIANA something less.