Programming Note: No Dear Diary next week unless you guys spend Christmas making diaries or something.
Trevor Miller of Hammer and Rails this week queried the bloggerati of ESDBS's boards to create a programming schedule for a fictional BTN2. Among shows like Hoarders: Jim Delaney Edition and a thing where Rutgers fans run around Manhattan trying to find someone who knows they exist, there was this idea:
11-midnight - "Why We’re Your Rival, Now." - Each school gets to explain why they are a Most Hated Rival of another.
I pointed out in the MGoBoard discussion that this would quickly turn into a Jerry Springer episode where Michigan's in the chair while they keep trotting out progressively more disgusting ladies who say they're our girlfriends.
That thread was perhaps was the impetus behind MGoSoftball embarking on a quest to ask every Big Ten (plus Notre Dame) blog to rank their rivalries. I'm excited for the results, though I don't think any fanbase is truly united on this front. For example Brian would put Notre Dame 2nd, while I think he needs to step outside of WTKA's signal for a day and see what's it like among the Sparties. One man's Michigan rivalric rundown:
- Actual Rivals: Ohio State, Michigan State, Notre Dame, Minnesota.
- One-way hate, them: Wisconsin, Illinois, Iowa, OHIO!, West Virginia, Princeton, Delaware, Rich Rodriguez, SEC, the Cleveland Indians
- One-way hate, us: USC, Wherever Nick Saban is coaching, Lou Holtz, Duke, Notre Dame's president and athletic department.
- Schools who aren't rivals but we have that one thing we'll never agree on to provide an infinite hate well: Nebraska ('97 N.C.), Tennessee ('97 Heisman), Penn State (JoePa, and because we each find each others' fans completely insufferable).
- Rivals only in the sense that one can be rivals with a paraplegic neighbor who's always asking you to punch him in the face: Eastern Michigan
- Hey, you forgetting someone? Like YOUR BIGGEST RIVAL who you got players suspended for and beat you that one time with a totally unsuspected onside kick???: …? On to the diaries. Where there were only three diaries, plus something I bumped from the boards, and they're all still on top. On to the rest of the board.
The Rest of the Board
THE MAYANS WERE RIGHT!
The world did not end in fire or flood or the mountains caving in; it ended it matte. Futzing with the helmet is a sure sign of the end times, as if maize numbers with blue trim wasn't. Relive the freakout above, or join the mass hysteria in threads dedicated to changing the look of the end zones, or defending David Brandon.
On that last, a suggestion for those about to start threads they think will be unpopular: don't lead with "I know you're all going to neg me for this," or by telling everyone who disagrees with you that they're Brian Cook's sheeple. Make your points, address only the best possible form of the opposing argument, and then stand by to politely debate your assertions, being ready to modify, improve, or even back off your position if you get stumped. Cypress has a valid argument that maybe we've been too hard on Dave Brandon for turning our favorite amateur team into the 2nd biggest franchise in college athletics, since all of those nickels and dimes are building cathedrals for sports most schools can't afford to carry (and consequently giving M the inside track for the Directors Cup). But then the OP's presentation of that argument is overly contentious. It's exactly this kind of contempt for people with other opinions that makes the difference between a great debate thread and a messy flame war the moderators have to clean up.
THE THING I BUMPED FROM THE BOARDS
Your diarist of the week is Asgardian for picking through the last four classes worth of Rivals rankings to find positional trends in who gets the higher stars. For some reason Midwest offensive linemen are getting proportionally higher rankings. It could just be the biases of recruiting analysts who think skill players have to come from the Southeast (imagine the difference in Toussaint hype if he was from Florida instead of Ohio) or it could be they're sick of Iowa and Wisconsin consistently pumping out NFL linemen from guys they rated a 2 or 3, and are making an adjustment. I'd like to see the sample extended back to 2002.
[After the jump, NCAA may be letting Oregon off the hook or taking the first steps towards finally nailing Ohio State for the stuff everyone knows about, and I seriously consider buying something Brian is totally going to make fun of me for.]
A LETTER TO THE INCOMING CLASS
There's a video reportedly made by a member of the 2006 class to welcome the freshmen. Did the OP help make this? Where do you get that 'M' key for your keyboard? Yes I am that kind of dork, what of it?
I'd say it's awesome but then a flat-brim hat with the sticker still on it appears. Don't put those on your heads, people; that's how the stupid gets in! (This message brought to you by the Class of '02, aka the bar hat generation).
NCAA REGULATION AT THE CROSSROADS
Erik_in_Dayton (one of my favorite posters) put up a thread discussing the latest from the NCAA's case against Oregon. The Ducks apparently changed something that means "they didn't collect" to "they didn't send" where the 'they' is now the scouting service instead of Oregon. The NCAA apparently found this version of events pretty quack (HA!) and is ordering a full hearing. MGoBloggers know how this ends. Pkatz:
Oregon sez: we did nothing, NCAA
NCAA sez: Oregon, you are full of shit
And response from Colt McBaby Jesus:
You forgot this part:
NCAA sez: Oregon, you are full of shit, but we don't have much evidence, nobody is willing to talk to us and we can't make them. Your punishment will be very small, but we all know there was more than what you get punished for.
That's pretty cynical Michigan fans. I wonder how we got that way…oh right. To that end, there's a react thread to NCAA firing a (-n OSU alum) lead investigator for apparently Mark Fuhrmaning the UCLA case. I guess if you want to jump to insane conclusions at ludicrous speed this could mean they finally found the Buckeye sleeper agent in their ranks who was hiding all the incriminating files against Ohio State in the floor of her office, and that the years of incompetence from that department are at an end. Or it could mean there was this one naïve heroine out there trying to actually bring schools to justice and the powers that be silenced her. Or it could mean someone Fuhrmaned an investigation and was canned for it.
THIS CHARITY HAS TO BE TAKING PEDs OR SOMETHING
Update on Zoltan's foundation, which raised $5k for a children's hospital. I reiterate: athletes' foundations never get this successful this quickly—Mesko and partner Tim North are really doing something over there.
Speaking of huge charitable guys, did anyone else catch this from Chantel's story…
And sometimes, seeing them is all she's able to do. When she's at her sickest, Faith is on "contact precautions," meaning the only people allowed in the room are those deemed as essential: doctors, nurses, parents.
On those days, Omameh ropes up several football players to stand outside the window and have dance competitions.
Faith will say Omameh is the best dancer, with a bit of bias, but defensive lineman Craig Roh and safety Jordan Kovacs aren't far behind.
He started going as a freshman when Moosman roped him into it.
ETC. Folks shared some of the ads they're seeing and I noted which ones were direct versus network—if you're getting something that references an odd proclivity that's the network optimizing to your searches and you probably don't want to tell us about it. Or do tell us about it, after all this is how we discovered somebody was breaking into Heiko's lab and using his computer to search for Argentinian cosplay porn. Need a better photo for a caption contest. Trey Burke nickname suggestions. In re #5 from this Cracked article umjgheitma highlighted, I've heard from a former Michigan D-I linemen that it's quite common for guys to be singing to themselves during trench battles (Bud Kaminski singing "Little Doggies" in The Program is a reference to that.) Mealer and his beard graduate.
Your moment of zen:
Are we big enough yet with our #2 ranking in basketball, and restoring the proper order in football, and in remaining better and more relevant in all things, to finally be above taking pleasure in petty Spartanfreude? HAIL no!
That's basketball uberrecruit Jabari Parker picking Duke when all the Sparties were sure they'd get him. RCMB react is…sanguine. Damn you rival program that's been a consistent national power so long that your fans instantly move on from Pryor-level recruiting disappointments. Sorry this sucks as a zen moment—unfortunately Brian turned down my suggestion of side-by-side react videos of him watching 2girls1cup and Kovacs in an 11 jersey showing off the new uniforms.