The Question:
Got this idea from Ryan Nanni: name the rival player you don't actually hate.
The Responses:
1. Be very good, 2. Lose to Michigan.
David: I don't have a great answer for this question. At least in the last decade or so...most likely due to Michigan's lack of success against their chief rivals. I thought of Mike Conley—whom I do like and respect—but he was only in Columbus for a year. Or Manti Teo? But...his whole career ended super weird. Pass. Let's go back...how about: Eddie George.
George fits this really well, I think. I remember watching him during his final year in 1995, enough games, anyway. He had a fantastic Heisman Trophy-winning year but was unbelievably upstaged by Tim Biakabutuka in The Game that year. George was held under 100 yards, while Biakabutuka set records with his 313 yards, as Michigan derailed Ohio State's National Championship hopes.
In the NFL, Eddie George was very fun to support. On top of being a model NFL citizen, he was a consummate professional. Never missing a start in Tennessee ('96-'03), George rushed for 1,000 yards in every year except for 2001 (where he had 939). He also had 300+ carries every season as a Titan, including 403 (!!) in 2000. He was also a prolific pass catcher out of the backfield with 259 receptions for 2144 yards and 10 TDs over those same 8 seasons. After 2003, the Titans chose to cut him and he played in Dallas for a year, but he was pretty much done.
Unfortunately, as happens to too many athletes, George had an up-and-down time in his post-playing career; here's a really neat article about it. However, some highlights do include dabbling in multiple platforms in front of the camera, constructing a life-preparation class, and even getting his MBA from Northwestern, no easy feat.
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Seth: I have two because the one isn't at all interesting or controversial. That no. 1 is Drew Stanton. I was supposed to hate him because in high school he was one of the kids who moved to Farmington Hills just to play for Coach Herrington—such athletes would come from all over the state then blow through D-III by an average score of 46-9. I knew some good men—future attorneys and financial advisers—who were in that D-III.
Stanton never beat Michigan. As Jeff "smoke green, snort white!" Smoker embodied the Saban-Williams program, Stanton was the JLS era: likeable football-loving dudes with hot piss who played spread 'n shred football with a heavy portion of Sparty No! Among these: Stanton ruined his knee on punt coverage, and initiated Braylonfest by getting knocked out of it.
Drew then had the incredible misfortune to be drafted in the 2nd round by Matt Millen for a Lions team that never had any intention of using him. I felt bad, more so because he was also the one local athlete celebrity you were most likely to see at a volunteer thing.
[After the jump: I am going to piss someone off.]
T'other is the controversial one: Ryan. Fucking. Miller.
Your head is too small for those pads Miller!
Even now I cannot say his name without shaking at indignation at the success of this homeless-looking scrawny dude in a sumo costume. Michigan hockey when I was in school was at the height of the puck-moving, fast-rushing Berenson Era, and MSU was the clutchy-grabby cheap-shotty evil nemesis. I hated the Ron Mason Spartans, but I just damn respected Miller. He had an unbeatable glove hand, and pucks that hit him just died, like there's a two foot radius around him where physics works differently. He was doing this going into the titanic showdown at the Joe…
…until Hilbert changed that.
I always wished Miller success in the NHL, in part to justify how good he must have been in college. Then he was America's goalie for the 2010 Olympic run that beat Canada in the preliminaries, and took the U.S. into overtime of the gold medal game. Such service to one's country cannot offset winning games for Ron Mason, but it helps.
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Brian: Awful. Seth, just awful. Ryan Miller seems like a perfectly nice person, but he can go to hell.
My guy is Aaron Craft. I have always had a soft spot for basketball players who are impactful without taking up usage. Ben Wallace, Dennis Rodman, Bruce Bowen: these gentlemen are fascinating to me because they are ignored forever until their value cannot be denied. I like them so much more than the vaguely "troubled" volume scorers the culture-of-basketball dudes are just so into. Allen Iverson makes me roll my eyes.
Aarballs on the other hand are things of beauty.
Craft was not exactly unsung--he was sung constantly, usually by Dan Dakich--but it's not like the chorus was wrong. Watching Trey Burke run into the brick wall that was Craft that first time was a "whoah" moment. After OSU got booted by Dayton a couple years back, I said it:
Exit Aaron Craft. I'm actually going to miss the bastard. There was nothing quite like the "oh shit Aaron Craft" thing he could do to the unprepared, and nothing quite like Michigan's stars getting pwned by Craft in their first matchup and then coming back to pwn in return. I thought he was a fun player for all the reasons announcers fell all over themselves about him, but turned down about 90%. He was also a terrific nemesis. That he was vanquished at the last is the narrative of the John Beilein era in a one on one matchup.
Craft had the good manners to be solved by Michigan. Never completely--Michigan always had to account for him--but enough, and when he got blocked to end his last game against That Michigan Team (You Know, That One) it felt gooooood, like finally taking down that boss who had previously made you throw your controller across the room. It felt Rapture Guy good. May as well call the dude Aaron Kayran.
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Alex Cook: When Draymond Green left Michigan State, I was relieved. The Saginaw native was "the guy" for Tom Izzo: after coming in as an overweight but very skilled freshman, he slowly improved across the board to the point where he was one of the most versatile - hell, one of the best - players in college basketball.
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| He looks much better in maize and blue. [Marcio Jose Sanchez, AP] |
On top of being a formidable nemesis to players like Zack Novak (who was in the same graduating class, and who went 3-4 against MSU and Draymond), he was an impressive shit-talker who absolutely hates Michigan. Even though Michigan had yet to complete its ascension to the upper echelon of college hoops - and even though Michigan State had a sustained run of dominance in the rivalry - Green still evinced that singular, seething hatred for everything U of M, which, paradoxically, was sort of flattering.
Along with everybody else, I didn't foresee Draymond's success at the next level. He was a second-round pick for a traditionally downtrodden franchise and was perceived to be in that classic "too small for the 4, too slow for the 3" purgatory on top of not having a reliable three-point shot. Long story short, Green had a breakout season and was the second-most important player on a dominant championship team; he was a legit DPOY candidate as a wing; he was able to play the small-ball center and distribute well from anywhere on the floor, a necessity for Golden State's high-octane offense; and, most of all, he gained prominence as the biggest irritant / antagonist / troll / enforcer in the NBA. In an era of carefully managed #brands, elite players who are all friends with each other, and whistle-happy refs who look at hard fouls as egregious offenses, Draymond is a true throwback... and the shit-talking has just escalated. And he backs it up.
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Ace: Cardale Jones introduced himself to the world by stating the truth the NCAA doesn't want you to hear, which was great and remains great and anybody who tells you otherwise is missing the point. For that alone, he'd be under consideration here.
But he's done so much more. He was undeniably fun to watch after stepping in for JT Barrett, combining an arm on the Mallett/Morris level with Tebowian power running. He and roommate Tyvis Powell staked their claim as college football's funniestodd couple. He put the moves on Ronda Rousey and not only lived to tell the tale, but elicited a response, then showed up to camp wearing a Rousey shirt.
Most refreshingly, Jones had the pitch-perfect answer for a #sticktosports Twitter troll:
@DanGustafson1 Sorry Mr master, I aints allow to tweet nothing but foolsball stuff I donts want you think I more than a foots ball playa sir
— Cardale Jones (@CJ12_) July 23, 2015
Said troll offered a half-hearted apology that generally missed the point, changed his Twitter name, and then deleted his account altogether. Yes, Jones quarterbacks Michigan's chief rival, but there's no question he's made the world a better place, and he's done so in a way Jim Harbaugh would approve—by being himself at all times, often at maximum volume.
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Adam: When Jim Harbaugh discusses being reborn into football he starts by describing the warmth and comfort of the womb, and how that gives way to chaos and lights and excitement. It's a singular event, the kind that irreparably alters your world. It's a lot like seeing your first fat guy touchdown, actually.
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| That fur. [SI] |
You watch football for years and you think you've seen it all: receivers striding like gazelles, backs who rumble or skitter, linebackers screaming through the A-gap or crushing a guy on the edge. There's grace and ugliness, precision and sloppiness, and somehow it all works in harmony. That is, until a 320-pound defensive tackle picks up a fumble and churns 74 yards to the endzone. It took 22 seconds for Domata Peko to become my favorite enemy.
Seventy-four yards! 320 pounds! An oxygen mask at the end! A door opened to a world of new possibilities: you could use big guys as fullbacks, or as tight ends, or drop them into coverage (but probably don't do that). It didn't matter that Peko's touchdown came against Michigan. It didn't even matter that it tied the game in the fourth quarter. It was such an unusual and mind-expanding and, frankly, hilarious event that it stood apart from the rest of the game.
I was rooting for Peko to get drafted; he's now entering his tenth NFL season. I check in on him about twice a season, but nothing will ever eclipse that one play from the 2005 Michigan game. Run seventy more yards than your body is used to and then take an ill-advised leap for the endzone and I will probably love you for the rest of your career.