Unedited. Seriously.
My stomach gave a decidedly strong vote against my attending Saturday's Spring Game, so in lieu of watching from the press box I took in the Big Ten Network's telecast. This may have been less informative than skipping the Spring Game altogether.
Granted, it's difficult to make a glorified practice very interesting, even for Michigan die-hards. That said, the BTN totally missed the mark with their broadcast, failing the viewers in almost every regard to a comical extent.
Know Your Audience (Or: Show The Dang Play)
Let's take a look at some catching drills...
...or not, I guess.
Instead of showing or explaining the first hour of drill after drill, the network decided to show a whole lot of stuff like the video above: completely useless angles with a heavy dose of cutaways to coaches, current players the announcers happened to be discussing—even if they were just standing around—and former players on the sideline.* Click on those GIFs. It's as if an ADHD-stricken toddler hit buttons at random in the control booth.
Even when the cameras stayed focused on the field, it was obvious the BTN director had no idea what he was watching, which seems like it should be a prerequisite for directing a football telecast. If I had to boil down the BTN's effort into one video, it's this one:
In that same vein, check out this spectacular run by Justice Hayes.
The director also filled time with sideline interviews with Charles Woodson and Desmond Howard, two players who are instantly recognizable to any college football fan who's graduated elementary school. That didn't stop the BTN cameras from staying locked on the interviewees while actual football happened on the field.
We know what Michigan's last two Heisman winners look like, and yes, it's possible to play audio of an interview without actually showing video of the interview. This may come as a shock to some, namely whomever was in charge of this broadcast.
The actual scrimmage stuff wasn't much better, though they at least caught most of the plays on camera. Well, one camera, at least. Jourdan Lewis's impressive interception of Devin Gardner on the first play got one replay angle—a slow-motion version of the original broadcast angle, which failed to show anything in the secondary until Lewis caught the ball.
If you watched this for the purpose of learning about the team, you have my sympathy. If you watched this for any other purpose, you've made me very confused.
"People in charge of things are just in charge of them for no reason" tag deployed with vigor. Well done, BTN director.
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*The GIF at the top of the post features the back of Charles Woodson's head, if you can't tell, which is quite understandable.
[Hit THE JUMP for the only quote Doug Karsch needs to make his case for the vacant play-by-play spot, the quarterback "controversy" in one highlight package, and the end of the scrimmage that wasn't actually the end of the scrimmage.]
Know Your Team (Or: Karsch For Play-By-Play)
The dreaded position-switch starter, per Matt Shepard [Bryan Fuller]
Matt Shepard and Marcus Ray were on the call, and while I thought Ray did a fine job—especially given his awkward placement on the field for most of the afternoon—Shep didn't exactly make a strong push for the vacant radio play-by-play gig.
It got ugly from the beginning, when Shepard ignored several minutes of drills to discuss whether or not Devin Funchess "can make the transition" from tight end to wide receiver. This is an honest-to-God actual quote uttered by Shepard:
Do they make this move if they don’t have a capable tight end in Jake Butt? He was so good last season and, granted, he tore the ACL, but they have AJ Williams, Keith Heitzman, Mike Jocz, they have a few guys who can step in and play some pretty productive tight end… spot, don’t you think?
The trio of "pretty productive tight end[s]" he mentioned have all of one career reception between them. I mean... Mike Jocz! 231-pound walk-on! Bust out that Stanford I-form already!
Finally given the chance to speak, Ray mercifully pointed out that Funchess made a pretty seamless transition to wide receiver... last season.
This feels like a minor quibble compared to the handling of the scrimmage, in which preseason storylines were discussed ad nauseam while viewers were left to figure out who was on the field and making plays.
Snaps came and went without any mention of who touched the ball or who tackled him. Multiple flags were thrown without any explanation of the infraction, and the official's mic wasn't loud enough to hear in the background. In a most meta moment, Shepard waxed poetic about his interview with Ray following the '97 Ohio State game—during a play, of course. The discussion of their breakfast at Angelo's presumably occurred during a commercial break.
At no point did the BTN attempt to tell the viewers which players made up the first, second, and third units, whether via announcer or graphic. Justice Hayes taking first-team snaps at running back—a surprise to many—didn't merit any discussion, even when Ray brought up his impressive running partway through the scrimmage.
Know Your Quarterbacks (Or: The QB "Controversy" In One Video)
This Shane Morris "highlight" featured not once, but twice during the broadcast.
On neither viewing did the throw cross the line of scrimmage.
Know Your Schedule (Or: SHOW THE WHOLE SCRIMMAGE)
This isn't the Spring Game you're looking for. Go about your business. Move along.
To those who watched on TV, the above video is how the scrimmage ended: a pass inside the ten to Jehu Chesson, a cutaway to coaches doing nothing, and... uh, goodbye! Please ignore the fact that it still looks like the scrimmage is going on! Make sure to watch the Big Ten Football Report!
(They did manage to squeeze in a player of the game equivalent before the "last" play. The odds of you guessing said player are exceedingly low.)
As someone with a pretty good handle on the roster, I spent most of the scrimmage just trying to figure out who was on the field—an effort impeded by the important between-play closeups of people staring at things. I like to think I can normally glean a solid amount of information from watching football. If you ask me about Saturday's scrimmage, the best I can muster is some concern about the O-line, and otherwise I'm like the Longhorn Network during a Michigan basketball game.
Somehow, the BTN managed to make a boring, relatively uninformative event even more boring and uninformative.
Okay, that isn't quite fair. I'm now informed that the back of Charles Woodson's head is doing just fine.